Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Think Long and Hard

It is finally hitting me that being on my own is harder than I thought. I have to worry that I am going to pay my rent and utilities. It is stressful. In fact I have actually been sick over it, I went to the doctor today because I have been feeling like my heart is going to pop out of my chest, dizziness and nausea. He said it was stress so now I am going to cymbalta and something for dizziness and nausea. I also went to see the movie Avatar today and it was good.
Anyone thinking about leaving their husbands needs to really think hard about it because it is no picnic when you realize that everything depends on you now.
I was not in an abusive marriage, I just wanted different things out of life but I still love him and have for twenty years. If I had been in an abusive relationship then I would be relieved not to be in that situation again.
Well I gotta go for now
Talk to you later gator


May said...

My ex-hushand and I parted after over twenty years of marriage. So I know what you mean, it's not easy. But time and prayer will heal. Thanks for sharing. God bless.

Thought Bubble Ten said...

I know what it's like to be doing it on your own. When I first left, it was with a feeling of immense relief mixed in with enormous fear. Would I be able to pay the rent and all my other bills? I had a job and it paid well enough but not enough to get my old banger replaced.

The number of times it would stall in the middle of traffic with my kids in tow and me trying to get them to school on time and get myself to work on time.

It didn't help that my ex would call me on the phone or come to my house and yell at me.

I remember being so unbelievably week that I had to crawl across the grass in the park where I'd taken my kids.

But that was a long time ago. I'll never forget what a counselor told me then, "Anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

It's been true for me. Over the years, I've had other challenges which have just made me stronger.

I'm sure they will do the same for you. Just keep the faith, try always to choose better, more peaceful, more joyful thoughts and you'll make things much easier for yourself.

May the force be with you :)

hot girls doing it said...

Good luck. It takes a lot of bravery to go it alone in life.

Lio said...

i feel your pain. i hope you find the strength to get by

Lio said...

hope you find the strength to get by.