I'm Back

I'm finally back after being gone for so long. Let me fill you in on what has been happening since Iv'e been gone. I know that the last post stated that I was single. Weellll I'm not. My husband decided that he didn't like it too well without me. So I've decided to give him one more chance. You know like 1,2,3 and your out. Anyway we have been back together since January. Now my older son moved to New Orleans and got him a job over there. My younger son and I decided to go see him. I had brought my laptop with me and I was sick as a dog. We couldn't quite remember how to get to the street where needed to turn so my son saw a couple of people and decided to ask them. Well they said if we give them a ride to where they were heading which was on the way they would show us. My son said ok and I didn't feel too comfortable with it but I was trying to keep from being sick. I brought my purse up front with me but I left my laptop in the back. We got to where they wanted to be dropped off and they got out and I noticed my laptop was not there. My son got out and confronted them about it and needless to say they had a gun. I decided they could have my laptop. I could replace a computer but I could not replace a son. I got out of the car because I knew that my son would fight them if he had to but I didn't want him to. He wanted me to be safe and so he decided not to go for it. Sometimes as parents you have to put yourself in the way to keep your children safe. So I have been without a computer since mine was stolen but I do have my son alive. I have just now gotten another one. Oh by the way I am going to be a grandmother again by my younger son. I will now have 3 grandsons. Well enough for now. Talk to you later
Ladyhawkcj

The Drive- In Goof

I was reading Margie & Edna's post about drive- in's and it reminded of the last time I went to a drive in.
I went on a date to the drive in to see a movie - I don't remember what movie
You know how you have to get out of the car to go to refreshment building to get your popcorn and coke.
Anywho I went to go and get my stuff and I thought I remembered where we were parked at. I got my stuff and headed back to the car and opened the door to get in and guess what? It was not the right car. It happened to be a single guy and he thought it was funny and I was kind of embarassed but you know I apologized and shut the door wondering where are we parked at .

It happened that my date saw me and flashed his lights and I was able to get back to our car but I tell you it is very easy to get turned around. We laughed about it after it was over.

The first time I remember going to a drive in was when I was a little girl and I was with my mom and dad when they were still together. It was What's New Pussycat? I don't remember the movie from then but I remembered the music and as I got older I saw the movie because I had remembered the music and that was the movie to go with the music. Strange how things like that happen. Maybe I ought to write a book called The Life and Times of C J An Ordinary Person. I wonder if anyone would buy it. After all I am not famous and I don't do crazy stuff to get my name in the limelight. Oh well...

I am going to say sayonara for now
Ladyhawkcj

The Choices We Make and Living With Them

I was on my way to work Friday evening when I had this idea of this post . I was thinking about my life and the choices I made with it. Every choice we make has a consequence and we have to live with whatever the outcome is. I am going to share one of my choices that I made and what my consequences are.
Twenty six years ago I met a man and we got married and had two sons. Things were good for a long time and I didn't have any reasons to think any wrong was going to happen.
It started when there was this little girl that came to stay with us and she accused him of molesting her. Of course being the good wife I didn't believe her and knowing the girl had a habit of lying didn't make it easier to believe her.
Fast Forward to several years later:
My mother and my niece came to live with us. I started to notice things weren't the same between us. I also started to notice some things about my niece, the way he would treat her and her reactions to him. She did not want to be around him or be left alone with him. I was a molested child and I started to recognize the signs. I tried to catch him in the act because he was great in trying to make you feel you were in the wrong for thinking these things.
My niece and my mother went to visit my brother where she finally told what was going on.

I believed her but here is the choice I made. I stayed with him for one simple reason I had two sons I had to able to provide for. I started school to become a nurse because I had plans to leave but I wanted to make sure that I could take care of them.
I finished school and passed my state board of nursing test. I got a job and we were living in a house that we rented from the Chief of Police in the town where we lived at.
I went to him and told him what had happened and that I was going to be leaving and he told me whenever I got ready to let him know and he would have some officers go with me.
I was afraid to do it alone because he had already hit me before and he had a bad temper.

So I worked until I got me some money and I worked nights so I was ready to go. I had called my brother and he came up and parked outside the front of my house. I had gotten in touch with Chief and told him I was ready. Two officers came in the house with me and I got my boys up and took them out to my brothers car and he watched them while I was inside getting my money and a few things.

He was asleep and didn't wake up for which I was glad. Maybe I was a sneaky person but I was not very brave when it come to facing him.
Here is my consequence:
My older son loved his father very much, he was a daddy's boy. He got very angry with me.
My niece told him what his daddy did to her and while he loves his cousin he didn't believe her. He is now twenty three years old and he believes now. But not until another episode came up and that is another story. My son was ten when I left his daddy and it took ten years for him to realize the truth of things.
I never said anything about his daddy to him because regardless of how he was and how I felt about him he was still their daddy. The funny thing was that he was a good dad. Just sick!

When he come to me and asked me what happened then I told him. He said his daddy told him a different story. He was a confused little boy and tore my heart up that he had to go through all that. My younger son wasn't quite five yet and as long as he had me he was ok.

My family at the couldn't understand at the time why I didn't leave right away but I had a plan and I did what I had to do for my boys.There was plenty of times when my stomach would just feel sick and I didn't know if I could stomach him to be able to do what I had to do.
When I called my mother to tell her I was leaving for them to start doing what they had to do.
He was arrested and put in jail.
There are plenty of stories about all of that but I think this is enough for now.

Was I wrong in doing things the way I did? Does that make me a bad person?
I know what I think but tell me what you think.
Ladyhawkcj

Them Crazy Old Days

Last night at work we were sitting around the nurses station and talking about the crazy stuff we did when we were younger.

There was this one time when I went to stay at a cousins place in Louisiana for the night.
She and I decided that we were going to go out to a bar. She was pregnant so she didn't do any drinking but I made it up for her.

You ever heard of Air Bands? It is something like Karaoke.
Now you have to know me for you to realize the significance of this. I am a quiet and by no means an extrovert.

This particular evening I had enough to drink to release my inhibitions and I got up on the stage and did my thing with the Air Band.

When I got through I started to look for my cousin and guess what? She was nowhere to be found!

I didn't know where she was, if she went home or not. I got a ride to take me to her place and wouldn't you know it she was at home and let me tell you I was not a very happy camper.

I was sixteen and wild:
I drank and smoked pot which I liked a lot

Now I drink occasionally and I don't smoke pot anymore. I haven't done that in a bunch of years.

My brother tells me that I got him started on pot but I sure don't remember it. Maybe my brains cells got fried.lol

He still does it though and even had a pot plant at one time and I am not talking about the ones you get at WalMart.

I'd be interested to hear about some of your wild and crazy days:

Ladyhawkcj

LETTERS TO MY GRANDSON ZACHARY ALEXANDER

This is for grandparents who for one reason or another don't get to see their grandchildren. I have a grandson that I have not seen since he was 6 months old. He is now 15 months old.

I know to a lot of people that may not seem like a long time but for me it feels like forever. When you love your grandchild so much and don't get to see them it tears your heart out.

Anyhow I was talking to a work colleague about this and she was telling me that she also has a grandchild that she does not get to see. She preceded to tell me that she writes letters to her grandchild telling him all kinds of things and she has a box that she puts all his birthday and christmas gifts in so that one day when he comes looking for them she can give it to him.

I liked the idea so I started to write letters for my grandson. I want him to know that we love him, his father loves him and that we always think about him.

I wanted to share this because I know that there are a lot of grandparents that do not get to see their grandchildren. This gives something constructive to do because one day that grandchild is going to want to know about his or her grandparents and this lets them know that are loved and it wasn't your idea not to see them.

In my case my son does not get to see his son because his wife left and took his son with her and will not tell anyone where she is at. They have not divorced yet and so that makes it hard legally to do anything about it yet.

Every now and then she calls wanting money for Zachary but she won't tell him where she is at. He tells her that when he know where Zachary is at and gets to see him then he will give her money. I mean you can't give somebody money if you don't know where to take it to.

These letters are also for Zachary to know that his father loves him very much also.

I hope everyone with grandchildren gets to be reunited with them soon.
They are ours just as much as they are their parents.

Ladyhawkcj

HOLY MOLY I JUST WET MYSELF

I was over at BLOGGING MoRe" Blog and read her post which I thought was funny but it reminded me of what happened to me when I was a young girl. I was about 10 years old and my sister and I had to sleep in the same bed. One night as I was sleeping I dreamed that I had to go pee and I went to the bathroom to get that wonderful relief when I woke up and realized what I had done.

I went and got cleaned up and changed clothes and went back to bed and all this time my sister was still asleep and I wasn't about to wake her up.

Needless to say the next morning my stepmother came in and found that the bed was wet but I had dry clothes on so my sister got blamed for it. Call me chicken but I wasn't about to say that it wasn't her.

To this day I have never told her any different you know water under the bridge and all that stuff.

I have had several dreams that I have gone to the bathroom but I don't get any relief so I eventually wake up and go.

I wonder if that is what happens to children that wet the bed. Do they dream that they are in the bathroom? Do they even feel they have to go until it is to late?

Things to ponder about:


Ladyhawkcj

HURRICANE KATRINA -- THANK YOU

I have noticed a lot of ads for Donating for Gulf Hurricane Victims and I appreciate it alot. I just want say a thank you for all the people and organizations that came to the Gulf Coast to help after Hurricane Katrina. I live on the Gulf Coast and was here during the Hurricane. Even after all this time we are still having problems with housing shortages. The cost of rentals have skyrocketed and people just can not afford to pay over 1000.00 a month to rent a place that is decent to live in. I was blessed that I did not sustain a lot of damage from the hurricane.

I was watching the news last night and they were saying that there was alot of people having what they call Survivor Depression. People that did not sustain a lot damage themselves but was depressed over the fact that so many people lost everything and they did not. I do not have that as I am an optimistic type of person.

I am a native of the Gulf Coast and I have gone through hurricanes before but not one as strong as what Katrina was. Will I stay here if another hurricane comes through? Probably but who knows. To me the worst thing was after the storm. The lack of power -- no lights or air and it was hot too, or not being able to get a hot bath. Not being able to cook which I didn't mind that but those MRe's were terrible ( my mother liked them ). We were without power for a week. Gas and being able to get any was a nightmare. We had power trucks from different states come and help to get power back on. There are still people coming and helping to rebuild and I applaud them. We are coming back better and stronger than ever. The feeling of togetherness as people work together helping each other is just amazing.

I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you for all the help and prayers that was given us.

This Woman's Blog

WHERE'S MY SISTER

Where is my sister? That is the question. Once upon a time back in history I was a little girl my parents were having problems with their marriage. My mom and dad got married when she was 15 and he was 20. She is the youngest of 12 children and she met my daddy through one my uncles. Needless to say she went straight from parents to husband with no chance to grow and have a little fun. I personally think that when she got away from my grandfather she went a little freedom happy. Anyway they were both at fault for things not working and so they separated. My mom met someone else that she was crazy about and you guessed it she wound up pregnant. She then found out that the man was married. What a bummer. There are three of us counting my brother and sister. My dad said that they could try and work it out but she had to give the baby up for adoption. My mom said she already knew and loved us and so she gave the baby uo for adoption. I have always known that my mom had given up a baby years ago. She did know that she had a little girl but she didn't know where she was at. We have always wondered about her through the years. What happens next? Come back and find out

Ladyhawkcj